Yesterday you allowed me to see something that I did not understand until later on. It wasn’t something that I was looking for. It’s just something that came across my view. But what I saw kind of threw off my day. I became agitated, irritated, just pathetic. When I had finally gotten to the point to where I became over it, all was well. What I saw still sat in the back of my mind, but it didn’t bother me like it had earlier in the day. I watched the movie of a couple go from middle school to high school with all these dreams to be together forever and what I saw came back to me like a ton of bricks. So when the movie ended I do what many single mothers do in pain. Turn the shower on, turn the music up as loud as I can, get in the shower, and cry my heart out to you. But, instead of thinking about everything that is going wrong, even though that’s how my cry started out, I begin to think about everything you do right. You make everything happen for a reason. If you did not allow me to see what I saw on yesterday, I would not have thought to release myself from whomever I needed to release myself from. I would not have broken soul ties that needed to be broken from my life. A few hours before Valentine’s Day, I cried my heart out to you. Told you how much I love you. I told you how much I needed you. I released my heart to you. I released my life to you. I released my soul and my spirit to you. I fully submitted my life to you. And as I watched the water go down the drain of the tub, I proclaimed the tears in that same water go down the drain forever. I will not have to cry about this again. I told you how I still have the faith to believe in you and Trust in the plan you have for me. I told you I wanted my desire to match your plan and purpose for my life. I believe you are going to give me the desires of my heart because I totally depend on you to have my heart and never break it. I love you. You have my heart Forever and always.
At the beginning of this year, I had my mind set on pushing my blog, having the Vision Connection Party, and starting my business. One out of three is good! Before the surge with COVID-19, I invested in myself by purchasing two of the items needed to start my business, Vision Tees and Things. I learned so much through YouTube, craft groups on social media, and craft friends, it became hard to focus on one specific thing in regards to everything I wanted to accomplish through my business. I was having my syndrome again. My initial goal was to cut out the middleman and produce my own designs and logos on different products geared towards my blog, but as I started to learn more and do more, my business took a turn for the better. I started to do more than just printing t-shirts. I started to print on mugs, make keychains, customize wine glasses, and so much more. I can honestly say I probably would not have been able to accomplish and master all of these things if I was not forced to stay home with my children when the schools closed back in March. I used our downtime to create, fill orders, learn, and grow.
So, here are a few things I have learned in year 2020:
Don’t Forget Your Ultimate Goal: Your Reason Why
Recently, I sat down and wrote out personal, home, and business goals for my children and myself. In addition to these goals, I wrote how they will be accomplished. Doing this helped me to understand what my ultimate goal was for absolutely everything concerning my life. What am I working towards? What am I looking to accomplish by doing this? What do I want to see come out of this? I believe, wholeheartedly, knowing this will keep me consistent and focused. I wrote out these goals so I can see daily what I am working towards. Whenever I need a little motivation, I can revert to what I wrote. It’s just like a vision board without the pictures. I remember when I first started blogging. It was ultimately to give people a glimpse of my life through my testimony while motivating through vision. Motivating through vision is my ultimate goal. It wasn’t going to only follow through with the blog or speaking engagements. Now I’ve created a platform where tangible items can be created to showcase that same vision whether it’s through wearing your brand on your chest, drinking out of a mug with your logo plastered all over it, or carrying a bag with a motivational message to keep you moving forward. Knowing and understanding this ultimate goal, for me, keeps me diligent and pushes me to stay the course no matter what.
Lord have Mercy! I believe this one was the hardest lesson for me to learn, especially after I went back to work. It’s safe to say I am still a work in progress on this one. Now, if you know me personally, you would agree I can sometimes be a little bit of a procrastinator. Sometimes I can feel I have all the time in the world and wait until the very last minute to get something done. Being a business owner, working a full-time job, maintaining a household with children, all while attempting to have a social life Post-COVID, I was forced to manage my time. I write out a weekly schedule, plan my daily duties, make a to-do list and prioritize by level of importance. Doing this can help me physically see what needs to be done and what needs to be moved around. Through time management, I learned it’s okay to take a break. It is needed. At times, it can become overwhelming having so many responsibilities so it’s quite all right to take a step back and breathe. You never want to get to a place where you are forced to sit down and do absolutely nothing. So, manage the time you have, take care of what’s needed in that moment, and take a pause if you need to, but don’t ever stop going.
Trust God with EVERYTHING
Have you ever gotten to a point in life where your only option is to trust HIM? I have; more times than I could ever imagine. Trusting God goes so much more beyond words though. You can say with your mouth, “I trust Him”, but if you don’t believe God can do whatever you’re asking Him to do for you specifically, it means nothing. There were many times I looked at a situation I was going through and felt I sometimes deserved to stay stuck in what I was in, but I messed around and started believing what I had seen God do for others, He can do for me too and what He has done in my life before, He can do it again and again and again. When I started to live knowing that God can do the unimaginable, the possibilities became endless. I made up in my mind, with everything in me; I would never walk around this earth feeling defeated because I have God. I will trust Him when things are looking good and, most definitely, when life appears bad. One of my favorite sayings is, “Things could always be worse.” Many times, we look at our situation that looks unfixable or unchangeable and forget what we’ve seen before, what we’ve come out of previously. I don’t believe God just takes us through for fun. Everything serves a purpose. So since He’s all-knowing, why not trust Him? What do you have to lose?
Now, we all know this year has been CRAZY and I’ve heard a lot of people say, “I’m ready for this year to be over.” “This year sucks.” I’m not going to lie, I found myself agreeing with them for a moment until I started to look at EVERYTHING I gained and lost. To tell you the truth, this year has been life changing. I don’t regret one thing I’ve done nor do I wish anything would’ve happened differently. I believe everything that has happened was designed to happen to me and for me. I titled this post “The Vision Blogger is Still Alive” because somewhere along this journey of 2020 I neglected my reason why. Writing out my goals the other day awakened something in me I thought I lost and one thing is for sure, I don’t ever want to feel like I lost my passion, my zeal, or my tenacity to walk in my purpose and do what I was created to do. Ever. So, my reason why is springing forth. My Vision is still alive.
Over two years ago, I was involved in a car accident. It was said that an accident happened behind me and pushed into my car. The third car spun in the air and landed to the right of me facing the other direction and I don’t even know how the car ended up on the left of me, but I was surrounded by damaged vehicles on every side except in the front. My vehicle was the only one able to be driven off the freeway, being that I only suffered damage from behind. Pieces from one of the cars sat on my bumper on the way to get the kids, on the ride home, and even on my way to work the next day, tucked over to the right side. I didn’t notice the pile of glass and screws until I was headed to lunch, while examining the damages in detail before driving off. I decided to get a piece of paper from my car and remove the pieces to the ground so I wouldn’t cut my hand, but I needed to move them out of the way in case I caused any damage to my tire trying to drive away from that spot. As I moved the pieces, I had to sweep them even further as to not damage any other person’s tires. Those broken pieces of glass lead me to believe this is how we do some of our relationships. You can either be the broken pieces sitting on someone’s bumper or you can be the holder of the broken pieces. Either way, both can be uncomfortable.
Be careful causing other’s to bleed from pieces of glass they didn’t break.
My children’s father and I were together for 6 1/2 years before he passed, which left me full of grief, bitterness, and anger. Now, at that time, I wasn’t honest with myself about those particular feelings, but one feeling I was most clear about was loneliness, which was normal after having someone laying next to you everyday for 6 years and suddenly you are alone. I was VERY reluctant on getting in another relationship after experiencing those emotions all at once. I, truly, didn’t want to believe, as a mother of three very small children at the time, I would even be liked let alone loved unconditionally by a man anyway. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen many single mothers and fathers get into happy and long relationships after a heartbreak, but that way of thinking I had was a reflection of how I felt about myself. I didn’t have nearly the level of confidence I have in myself now compared to then.
Now, I have only had one or two serious relationships since my ex’s passing. The one thing I tried my best to consider in those relationships were not allowing that particular person to pay for the emotions brought on by someone previously. Just like the pile on my bumper, I didn’t want someone to have to hold on to my broken pieces trying to love me. I knew my heart wanted to love again, but I was afraid. I was afraid of wasting my time. I was afraid of being lied to again. I was afraid of even getting my hopes to be let down. All of those fears led me to not actually be serious about a relationship. I was just meeting guys to talk on the phone to sort of fill the void of companionship. Not saying I don’t have those fears still at times, but I’m learning when you allow God to truly guard and guide your heart, you can’t go wrong. There are situations we put ourselves in for whatever reason that may be, but I’ve found God will allow those situations to teach us lessons and show us what He might have been trying to protect us from.
Be careful trying to love people whole. You may end up losing some of your pieces.
With me trying not to have my broken pieces held, I’ve found myself being the holder of others’. One particular man I was with was deeply hurt in his previous relationship with his children’s mother. I found myself losing my marbles trying to understand why he tended to kind of shut down when things were going in a good direction. Through many conversations, I learned the hurt he experienced caused him not to be able to fully expect good in a relationship. He just wanted to “ride the waves” and I felt like I made more waves with my irrational behavior caused by me not fully understanding what I tried my best not to do in a relationship. I thought me being there and continuing to love him through everything would make it all better, but I had to learn the hard way it would never be possible. While he tried to protect me from his broken pieces, I found myself trying to piece them back together, so to speak, while literally cutting my hands in the process.
Studying the meaning of these pieces left on my car allowed me to take a step back and realize the parts I’ve played in my own heartbreak and even good relationships I messed up with my own hands. First, I had to forgive myself for those parts and trust the process of becoming whole. I knew I could never have a successful relationship if I didn’t deal with things internally within myself. I knew I wouldn’t be able to be receptive to the type of love and companionship I desired. I would just continue to cut others with my broken pieces and even ones I’ve picked up from other’s damages. Second, I had to learn how to effectively love myself. I can almost bet there are millions around the world who look in the mirror daily and find something they don’t like about themselves. I believe when you effectively love yourself, you love the good and the bad because both ultimately make up who you are. If you don’t love you, how can you expect someone else to love you? The good and the bad. We can try because I most certainly have, but the foundation of love starts in you. Love you the way you desire someone to give you love, maybe even more. Be Blessed.
Hello Family! I have not written a post in a little while, but I can definitely tell you I have been working on soooooo many things involving my VISION for “The Vision Blogger” Companies so be on the lookout. BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!! (My team tells me I need to focus on one thing, but I can’t. LOL.)
At the end of August, my daughter, Mya, and I went to support one of my church sisters, Rhoshonda Adkison’s, event “Breakfast with Daddy’s Girl”. The event was located at Hanz’s Diner in North Houston where in the provided area, the women and young girls sat on the outside of the tables, while men sat in the middle. Each man represented that day was the “Dad” for about three or four ladies or young girls and became responsible for them for the time given. After our informal meet and greet, we all wrote out the letters to spell father on the sheet of paper given and were asked to describe what a father is using each letter. As we formulated our list, Mya started to remember her dad and came up with words with that glee and smile in her eyes I hadn’t seen in a long while. Most of the words did not start with the letters provided, but it was amazing to hear her just describe him. That moment caused me to step back and truly think about my father and how our relationship and his passing affected me.
Mya was SPOILED with a capital “S”. Now the word “spoiled” is often used as a derogatory term, but in my eyes, if a child or teenager was spoiled, they often got mostly everything they wanted and were not punished for things you might have received a punishment for. As a child, growing up, I confused being spoiled with being more loved. One day, I actually told my dad I felt he loved my sisters more than me because they were always getting what they wanted from him. His words to me were, “You have the same opportunities to get what you want and need from me, but you don’t ask.” He was right. In my mind, at the time I felt like it was wrong of me to always go and ask my dad for anything when my little sister was always going to him already for everything. I also felt like I didn’t call him enough or spent enough time with him to ask him for things I wanted or needed. I just never wanted my dad to feel like I only called him for those reasons. Looking back on this now, I am the same way with God. I know He is absolutely everything and He can do what I can’t, but I never want it to seem like I only talk to Him when I need Him. After the conversation with my dad, I realized it was my fault I felt the way I did. Point blank, I never in no shape, form, or fashion, felt unloved by my father, but as a young girl, I never knew how and what it meant for a father to show real love without having gifts and things I desired. As a teenager, as I grasped the concept of what a father’s love should consist of, I realized I looked forward to meals with my dad, going to church with him, and laughing with him until my stomach hurt more than having the materialistic things. Thankfully, I learned this early on where that perception of love would not boil over into my relationships as an adult. I was proud to say that my daughter experienced love from her father different than how I felt as a young girl. Her father wasn’t fully in a position to give her everything she wanted. Honestly at three years old, she really didn’t ask for much of anything. She knew her father loved her by the time spent with her, the hugs and kisses he gave, and the compliments of how beautiful she is. That’s the love she experienced in only three years that she still thinks about almost five years later.
Losing my father at 22 was TOUGH for two reasons. One, I had just left my home church a year before and he had become my pastor and baptized me. As my pastor, our relationship grew stronger than I could’ve ever imagined. I saw my father in a different light and didn’t want that light to dim from my life. The second reason was, two months to the day of his passing, I had just given birth to my first child, Elijah. I remember the day I had him. The look in his eyes was unexplainable. He kept coming in the recovery room with me and going right back out to check on my son. The next day, he came back to the hospital and just held him for hours. My sister told me he preached about Elijah from the Bible for three weeks straight. When we came back to church, after service was over, he prayed and said, “Bring me my grandson.” You could see the joy in his eyes and hear it in his smile when he called. It pained me to come to grips with him not being able to see him and the other grandchildren grow up. Even now, it hurts sometimes to think about how he never got a chance to meet all the other grandkids who have been born since his passing.
The final activity of the event was writing a letter to our fathers. I truly thought the activity was going to be an emotional one for myself and Mya but it was actually relieving. In Mya’s letter, she wrote about everything she missed about him being here on earth with her. As we finished, I started to ask myself, “What do you want to say that you never got a chance to say?” One thing was how much I loved and appreciated him as my father and at that time, as my Pastor. My father would move the moon and stars for his wife, his girls, his family, his friends and God’s people. He was a true servant. It was a blessing to see him sick, well, happy, or sad serve. That’s why when I saw the flyer where my father’s church, True Praise Missionary Baptist Church, under Pastor Earnest Helaire, Jr., was having their opening service for the new building, I couldn’t and wouldn’t have missed it. My father’s VISION had come to pass. I didn’t know everything True Praise had to go through to get the building but I knew there were obstacles. Before and even during the opening service, they continued to face opposition when the air conditioner went out. That didn’t stop them from giving God praise and honor for what He had done for them as a church. First Lady Sha Helaire and other members served the members and guests ice water because of the heat. I just believed just as she served in that moment, it was a direct representation of True Praise and what they had to endure as they waited for the vision to come to pass. They continued to serve. They didn’t quit. They didn’t allow road blocks to hinder the process of moving forward.Passing by my grandparents’ house, I had seen the pieces for the building many times, but to see all the pieces together to create the beautiful edifice was encouraging. My vision is written ALL OVER on many sheets of paper in my journal, sticky notes on my desk, and even notes in my phone, in pieces. My pieces can and will come to pass just like my father’s vision did. “And the Lord answered me, and said, write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” My father wrote the vision and made it plain. His church, now under the leadership of Pastor Helaire, continued on even in the midst of the heartbreak of losing their child, brother, friend, and pastor. They are running with what was written.
Every single person in this world has had their own experience with love from their birth fathers whether it was existent or non-existent. Some people don’t or didn’t have the luxury of even having their father in their lives at all or only in bits and pieces of it. What I have always found throughout my life and even through others’ testimonies, whatever you may have felt about your father, whether he was there or not, God is the only one who can fill any void you may have from not having your father around or not receiving what you needed from him. I love the idea of the “Daddy’s Girls” Ministry because Rhoshonda brings teenage girls together, which I believe the teen years are a pivotal stage in life, to minister to them about the love of Christ and building an unimaginable bond with Him. As great as my biological father was to me and as much love I am surrounded by from my family and friends, I could never live without the love of God and wouldn’t be able to understand life at times without having that relationship with Him.
With this post, I honor my father, Pastor Jim Miles, Jr. and True Praise Missionary Baptist Church. I love you guys tremendously. Keep up the good work. Be Blessed.
First, I have to say, God is absolutely AMAZING & FAITHFUL. He does just what He says He’ll do. He’s never short in His promises. When I declared “Today is going to be a GREAT day” on yesterday, I never fathomed what God was going to do for me. I’m still in amazement and in awe of who He is in my life. I love God! He is EVERYTHING to me and I am FOREVER His servant. Not for what He does only but for who HE is.
Second, God has revealed soooo much to me about myself in the last four years, I’ll never be able to fully explain it. I learned who I truly was in Him and He strategically placed many people in my life to keep me going and growing in Him and through my VISION. So, it was somewhat hard for me to leave my last job at the Tax Office because I knew I was comfortable. I was also working towards being a Lead Clerk, but there, you had to really be in good with the right people to be promoted.
I left there and went to work with my mom in the Justice Courts, where I had volunteered periodically since high school. Little did I know, 3 months after starting the job, my children’s father would pass leaving me heartbroken and somewhat confused about what God was actually doing in my life. At the same time I felt relieved. My children’s father was my entire life. I loved him with everything in me, but losing him drew me even more closer to God. Also, at the new job I was able to take the time I needed to truly heal and grieve at my leisure. I wouldn’t have been able to do that at the Tax Office.
As time went on, I began to learn almost every aspect of the Courts. I worked hard with truly no intention of ever being promoted maybe for years to come. I knew I would be qualified because of what I knew and my work ethics, but set my mind and heart to believe I wouldn’t be able to be promoted. Not only because the current Supervisors didn’t plan on retiring for years, but because people would believe my mother, who is the chief clerk, would only give me the position because I was her daughter, not because I knew the job and worked hard at it.
In the previous school year, Edwin, Jr. starts kindergarten and begins having issues EVERYDAY. He is later diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Behavior. You can read more about that process in the following link: https://thevisionblogger.com/2019/02/07/yesterday-was-tough/ During the school year, I had a bit of relief because there were people in place at his school to help redirect him if need be, being that the medicine only did so much.
The summer didn’t start off so great. He was getting ready to be removed from the summer program. Just days ago, we started a new medication along with what he’s already taking. It looks like things are much better for now and I believe God is working on that as well. I’m grateful and relieved because in two weeks I will be starting a new position as the new “Traffic Department Supervisor” in another Justice of the Peace Court.
I was interviewed along with others for the position and found myself just happy to even be considered for the opportunity to have an interview. I started the process with the mindset, “God, if it’s for me, it’s for me. If it’s not, it’s not and I’m okay with that.” But God knew what I wanted and He knew exactly what I needed to provide fully for myself and my children. Even after having what was intended for my children be stolen by someone who was connected to their father, God has replaced that and more.
Things I’ve learned through this process:
I will never underestimate what God can and will do for me. He has a Will and it’s all I want.
I will never underestimate myself or count myself out and make myself believe outside of what God has promised. He is faithful and if He promised it, I dare not allow the enemy or even myself to make me believe His promise won’t be manifested.
I will never apologize for what God has placed on the inside of me to fulfill work in the Kingdom and the World. I love me and the way God has made and molded me. I am yet and still on the potter’s wheel and will never be unreachable or unteachable.
I am a witness. God never puts more on you than you can bear. If He allows you to go through it, He’s equipped you with what you need to stand any test or trial. I am ELATED to learn what’s next to come in this journey of life. This short story had to be told to help someone understand and witness through me that God is strategic in everything he does. He has a plan. Don’t be distracted by the pain and short detours. Don’t allow them to make you miss the moment God is using to show you what He wants to do in your life. You may not even understand it all, but find solitude in the fact that He understands it all. He has a plan and purpose. He’s GOD! My prayer DAILY is for someone to be blessed in what God has taken me through, favored me with, and endowed me to do with my hands. Check out my previous post as well with my top 13 Motivational Quotes for moving forward here: https://thevisionblogger.com/2019/06/20/motivational-quotes-for-moving-forward/
There was a gentleman in my inbox this past week and one of his first questions were, “So why is such a beautiful woman like yourself single?” I answered with, “No reason really.” It’s funny how people often ask this question when getting to know a person and I’m still trying to figure out what is the actual reason behind asking this. I posed the same question to many of the singles’ groups I’m in on Facebook. I had hundreds of answers and the top ones were, “I refuse to settle”, “I haven’t been found yet”, “I haven’t found the one yet”, “I’m working on loving myself”, “I am working on finishing up my degree and starting my career”, I’m focusing on my kids”, or the famous, “It’s my choice”. When I became single, I believed God was punishing me. What I, then, started to do was try to make a relationship happen on my own, accepting just about any and everything. I had several prospects hanging around so much so I rarely felt lonely. Of course, those prospects only got me so far when I knew in my heart what I truly want in a long-term relationship.
When given this assignment to speak on this topic, I went to google to find blogs and other writings about what the Bible says about singleness. Most of them spoke on how singleness is a gift from God and there were many scriptures given but I Corinthians 7:25-40 was the best description I could find if I wanted to have this question answered through the Bible. In 1st Corinthians, Paul is the writer of this book. The title in the NIV version is “Concerning The Unmarried”. To me when I read this specific section, Paul stated it is better for a person to stay how they are, as in being single. He basically started to talk about all of these different things involving a single person, as well as, a married person. He was, ultimately, trying to spare the people to whom he was writing to. Out of this portion, verses 32 through 35 stuck out to me the most. “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” The last part just stated to me, choose what you will, but he’s admitting this advice to help them keep their devotion to God. I believe with Paul being a man and knowing a bit about the troubles of the world, he suggested it was better to remain single and if you were married, act as if you weren’t in regards to your relationship with God. I can ultimately relate to his reasons why.
I know, myself, in a new relationship, you swear I just bought a new phone or something. I put almost all of my energy into getting to know him. I spend as much time as I can, physically in person and talking and texting throughout the day and night, which is sometimes hard with having three young people under you all the time but that’s a whole separate subject. My last boyfriend and I met, reconnected, formed, what I thought was a solid friendship, and became a couple all over again in a matter of 3 years. During that time, I had, also, started going back to school, the boys started football, and baby girl became a cheerleader. So, I had all of that on top of having this new, blissful relationship. One thing that didn’t change was my service to God. I didn’t miss opportunities to minister or attend church services but you bet I was rushing out of whatever setting I was in with the quickness to either see him or talk to him. As I remembered this, I’m now wondering, when did I rush home to spend time with God during that same time? When did I hurry up and get to my car so I can talk to Him, as I do now that we’ve broken up? Through this lesson, I’ve learned where I’m slipping as far as relationships. Just because I’m in a relationship with a man, this shouldn’t mean I lose my relationship with God. I believe that’s what Paul was stating as far as a single person and a married person. So I questioned myself, if I’m concerning myself with worldly things as an unmarried woman with a boyfriend, how can God trust me to keep my relationship with Him, if He sends my husband right now.
“A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.” -Maya Angelou
So, the initial question was, “why am I single?” My answer would be, “because God needs me to be”. Many people look at singleness as some type of disease or a process God takes you through as punishment to think about the things you’ve done in life. I think singleness is a gift and needs to be embraced, but I feel it’s sometimes hard to embrace something that makes you feel as if you’ve been placed on a back burner or just totally forgotten about. Then, it’s also hard to not long for something that you’ve felt before. It’s an amazing feeling, for me, to have that one person that you can go to and talk to about your day or anything that’s bothering you or just feel a hug or touch from them or a gentle kiss. It’s hard to not want that for yourself forever. Even though sometimes what you have had in the past started out as what you would want to see forever, but ended in heartbreak, it doesn’t stop you from actually wanting that “real thing” that you had in the beginning or, maybe even, totally opposite than what you had as far as the heartbreak is concerned. So, what I would say is singleness is used to build your relationship with yourself and Christ. Maya Angelou said it best, “A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.” Now, that doesn’t mean that I am going to hide out at home. I’m still going to go out, have fun, and enjoy myself and time with friends and loved ones. If God chooses to throw a man in there somewhere, I’ll be open to the idea of God allowing me to have what I desire, but through my deeper relationship in Him, I’ll know when it’s Him sending him or me just “making it happen”. Be Blessed.
Hello Family! 2019 started out a little shaky, but is turning out to be life-changing. On my previous blog post, I talked about the last Vision Party I hosted in connection with my church sister, Rhoshonda Adkison and her ministry, Daddy’s Girls, which targets teenage girls. During the process of pushing the event, she gave me the name “The Vision Blogger” and, since then, I have ran with it. Over a month ago, my pastor, Dr. Robert Bailey, Jr. and the “Superwoman” herself, Tina Armstrong, gave a “Brand Identity” class to “help ministries build their brands and vitalize their visions for effective Kingdom Building”. They gave the do’s and don’ts of branding, how to brand yourself and your ministry, identifying your identity, and the keys to vitalizing your vision. This meeting, literally, set off a fire in me to take “The Vision Blogger” so much further than just blogging. I started throwing out all kinds of ideas to push my Vision. At the beginning of the class, we wrote on a piece of paper answering the question, “Who Am I”. I wrote all these words I felt identified with who I am and knowing this and ultimately what I am standing for was only the beginning of knowing exactly where I was going in formulating the plan to get to that destination.
Once the fire was lit, I felt like I shot off a rocket. I got in contact with many people to get a logo done and my sister, my assistant, had shirts made. I had a photo shoot to show my new logo and my family altogether. Recently, my name has been given to other bloggers in the city and they have given me information and opportunities to push my vision even further. A conversation I had with one of those talented, successful bloggers, LaTonya White, helped me to really think about the direction I wanted to take “The Vision Blogger” in. She started to ask me about my niche, she asked me if I was copy written, and if I had my name trademarked. These, along with other things we discussed, I didn’t know I was entitled to do as a blogger. On the same night, I listened to a Facebook Live I watch weekly done by Lady Demetria Jackson, CEO of Me2 Enterprises, which is based around motivating, mentoring and life-coaching. I joined at the end of the video where she asked her viewers, “What is your real reason for asking God to do something?” As she talked, I started to ask myself, not only about my own personal prayers, but I thought about what my sole purpose for becoming “The Vision Blogger was. What do I actually want God to do with my vision? Why am I doing what I do? Is it for personal gain? Why? I sat at my desk researching on getting copy written, then, trademarked. That same night, I laid in my bed and thought about my questions I had for myself even more. I believe I needed to answer, for sure, what is my purpose for doing this.
I started blogging a few years ago, during a pretty dark time in my life. I, basically, wanted to help somebody else through what I was going through and learning through that time, being that I felt my life was already on a billboard. In the “Brand Identity” class, my Pastor gave excerpts from his upcoming book called “How To Prophetically Pray On Purpose”. There were two things he gave that stuck with me since then. The first thing was, “Every vision comes with a valley. Everybody is not assigned to it. Everybody can’t handle it.” My blog is part of my vision and it was formed through the valley I was experiencing. There were so many people who helped me through that hard time and there were some who found themselves, unknowingly, not being able to discuss what I was going through. I was extremely alright with that because for a long time I could barely talk about it myself. All in all, talking about it to who would listen, who could handle what I was a going through, is what got me here. The other thing he gave was, “Don’t let the valley talk more than your vision. The valley can’t be the spokesman.” What I went through did push me to want to push vision and have vision for myself, but when my pastor said this, it helped me understand, it will never define me or define where I’m going. I have grown so much since then, at the same time learning so much about myself. The valley was a stepping stone towards VISION. The valley is not where I’m going.
“I PUSH VISION!!!!”
When Ms. White asked me what my niche was, I told her I didn’t have just one specific thing I talk about in my blogs. So, from the idea of not wanting to limit myself to one thing, my niche is, “Motivation through Vision”. Vision is my focus. Motivation and inspiration is what my ultimate goal is for the people I come in contact with or who connect to me. My goal will be achieved daily through everyday conversation, posts on social media, this website. I want to inspire and motivate in everything that I do and I feel that goal is tied to my love for writing. Not only do I want to always push vision and have Vision parties where I get people together to cut out pictures and inspirational quotes and paste them on a board, but I want to give people tools to reach those same goals that they put on this board. I want to push people’s visions. I want to show the world other people’s visions they believe in while, at the same time, pushing my own. My vision is for everybody to have vision. My vision is for the others who have vision already to keep their ambition and momentum to do the work. I feel like everyday you should be working towards your goals and dreams. That work can be going back to school to better your education, working harder towards a job promotion, looking for a better job, budgeting yourself to manage what you take care of, and, even, starting your own business. Everyone has something they want to do that will help them be better or do better or have a ministry God has placed in your heart that targets people in need. Everyone has vision. Sometimes it’s clouded by what you see in front of you, but we all have it. I believe it takes all of us to push each other to do just that, not only for us to be better, but for the world to see God’s Glory in all of us through His Kingdom. God builds us as we build His Kingdom through Visions He has placed in all of us.
I’m so messed up right now. My dad is gone and I don’t know how. Receiving the news hurt me so. It’s so hard that it pierced my soul. Daddy left and didn’t say bye. Will there be another time that I can say “Hi?” I know that crying won’t being him back, but he was always there when I lacked. Losing my Daddy hurt from the start. Now, you tell me how could a Dad break your heart.
There’s an overcast over my heart and the clouds are filling with the emotions I feel in this life. Many storms have rolled in from all directions and they are now targeting my most valuable possession. My heart. My heart is feeling pain today that I can’t even put into words. I want to empty them out but there seems to be a blockage that’s keeping me from the flow that I am used to functioning in. So I go for a drive, piano music playing but the overcast seems to be following me everywhere I go. I wanna run to him and pour my soul out but he’s preoccupied with his own cares to even see the clouds forming in my eyes. I’m just about to erupt but I decide to keep driving. I’ve come to a place where the water is moving so briskly, but so are the clouds. They seem to know exactly how I am feeling on the inside. I want to release the moisture building in the corners of my eyes but who will hear the words my tears are speaking. Each tear is a word of release so that I can breathe again. So my heart can live again. These tears are a release of the aching in my heart. Releasing the heaviness of this day. Winds of comfort, blow the overcast away and allow a ray of hope that it won’t always be this way. Overcast.